Is Your Child Struggling to Regulate Their Body or Emotions in Big or Puzzling Ways?

• Does your child have an especially difficult time with change?

• Does their anxiety or anger create tension in your family?

• Are school and other transitions increasingly difficult?

• Have sticker charts, rewards and time outs only made things worse?

Parenting a child with big behaviors or a vulnerable nervous system can be stressful and isolating.  It can often result in exhausted parents reacting to behaviors instead of responding, leading to regret and lost sleep. 

For other parents, overwhelmed with the intense needs of their child from the beginning, finding solutions amongst a sea of (often contradictory) advice from health care providers, loved ones and parenting experts is a challenge. 

And in the meantime the stress and tension at home and your worries for your child only grows. 

If only you could find the key to your child’s ability to thrive.

You are Not Alone, Many Parents Are Concerned About Their Children Today

There is mounting evidence that even before COVID many children were struggling.  Rates of depression, anxiety, PANS/PANDAS and other chronic health conditions in children had been on the rise in the U.S. (CDC).  In fact, the CDC reported that 1 in 6 (17%) children between the ages of 2 – 8 had a diagnosed mental, behavioral or developmental disorder.   And now as we continue to adjust to the effects of the pandemic we are gradually discovering the impacts of this collective trauma on our children and ourselves.

Unaddressed early toxic stress and trauma are now known to be a leading underlying cause of chronic mental and physical health conditions in adults.  Children show signs of this stress early on too, often masked as anxiety, sleep and eating challenges, digestive upset, hyperactivity, inattention, or aggression.  Hidden stress and health challenges in pregnancy and early life can set up patterns in your little one’s growing brain that make connection, regulation and learning unique or challenging.  

“Connection is a biological imperative” according to Dr. Stephen Porges. It’s not optional. At the same time the human brain is constantly scanning for cues of danger or threat. Cues come from the environment, inside the body, and within the space between us and the people we interact with. So, your child’s puzzling behavior is almost always their best attempt to feel safe, cope with stressors and/or to regulate their bodies. Their sense of safety is completely subjective to their unique body, brain and nervous system. 

If you have been struggling to shift patterns, notice you are feeling disconnected or find yourself walking on eggshells trying to avoid triggering challenging behaviors, child therapy can help.  An experienced child therapist can offer a hope-filled, judgement free space for you and your most important people to be fully seen and understood.

Child Therapy Starts Here: Building Safety Through Play and Connection

Maybe you have tried therapy of one kind or another only to be left feeling misunderstood and more frustrated trying to implement behavioral strategies that just made things worse.  It is possible to find healing and joy with your child again with the support of an experienced child therapist who has specialized skills and knowledge in child development, attachment, brain and nervous system development, adversity and trauma.   

We also know that while early adversity, stress and trauma impacts babies and young children, so do healthy relationships and positive childhood experiences! Extensive research highlights the profound impact that positive childhood experiences (PCE) have in buffering the effects of adversity and supporting children in growing up to be healthy, successful individuals.  One of the most powerful positive experiences involves having a strong relationship with a parent and a protective home environment.  Child therapy that is focused on strengthening that critical parent-child relationship can contribute towards building greater positive childhood experiences and ultimately your child’s resilience.  It can also complement the other important work you may be doing with other practitioners.

My approach is collaborative, relationship-centered and holistic.

Collaborative: building a relationship with you, the parents and caregivers, who know your child best. My aim is to create a partnership with you!

Relationship-centered: meaning I really care about the relationships I am creating with you AND my work is focused on supporting your relationships with one another and increasing your confidence in reading, responding to and advocating for your child’s needs with others.

Holistic: observing the whole child within their primary relationships, spaces, culture and communities. It also means gathering information about all areas of development, health and daily life.

Over time we will identify and address root causes, stressors and triggers for challenging behaviors first through a thorough history taking, then time for observations, reflections and discussion. All behavior has meaning.  And insight into the meaning of your child’s behavior often creates greater compassion first, and then a path forward as we co-create a plan to support your child’s unique needs. 

Parents, you are the real facilitators of your child’s healing and growth and I use a combination of parent-child play therapy and parent coaching sessions to support you in this incredibly important work!   Play therapy sessions are active, interactive and sensory-rich (think balloons, stretchy fabric, games and sand but not all at the same time!), meant to be fun and connecting and to serve as practice for new experiences that you can continue at home. What we do together one hour a week is a small dose of what your child needs every day to heal and grow into their full potential and to thrive.  Many of the activities we will do can be woven into your existing daily routines.  Through observing your child’s play, together we can learn about their inner world including their strengths, preferences, interests, worries, and thinking.  And through joining their play we can support and strengthen your relationship, practice and teach new skills, and build new neural connections. Over time this builds a strong foundation for their development and their ability to calm and regulate (first with you and eventually away from you), cope with stress and flourish in their various environments. 

In order to best support you I build in regular parent coaching sessions without the child present.  This allows us to talk freely about your goals, concerns, and your child’s history and progress without distraction.  It also gives you space to pause and reflect on your own experiences, what has been going well and what you would like to work on. 

There are some circumstances where individual child sessions may be best. If we agree this is the case for your child, I will continue to work with you in regularly scheduled coaching sessions to build your understanding and connection with your child.

Getting to regular therapy appointments with young children can be a challenge.  And sometimes parents worry that I won’t see the behaviors or the interactions that are most troubling during our sessions.  One way for me to see your child most clearly is to visit your home or their school.  In some cases, depending on distance, I am able to come to you for therapy or to offer sessions via a secure video portal.  I am also available to observe your child at their daycare or school.

Through successfully completing our work together you can expect to:

• experience more playfulness, ease and connection with your child.

• have resources and tools ready for handling stress and new challenges.

• be prepared to advocate for your child with providers and teachers.

• see your child’s sense of confidence, curiosity and trust in themselves and you grow!

I have been working with young children for 30 years, including more than 25 years as a therapist and consultant specializing in families with young children.  In addition to my education in social work and early childhood, I also have training in holistic nutrition, the relational neurosciences, music and movement, trauma, and infant massage that informs my work.  And yet the most profound influences on my work have been my own lived experiences.  I have been the child with early vulnerabilities and challenges and a parent through both marriage and adoption. My combined experiences offer a unique perspective from which to support you in understanding and addressing your child’s unspoken needs.   (Read more about me HERE)

You May Still Have Questions…..

We really could use some support but isn’t my child too young for counseling? 

All of us can benefit from counseling or coaching at one time or another.  Babies and young children grow and heal within their relationships with their parents or primary caregivers which is why I usually work with parents and children together.  The quality of your relationship builds the foundation for all of their future relationships and lifelong success!  And child therapy is nothing like the talk therapy of adults and older kids.  For young children it is in the child’s language: PLAY. 

Child therapy seems expensive.  Maybe I should wait until my child is a little older to see how things change? 

Child counseling is really an investment in them, your relationships and your whole family’s future.  Waiting until children get older and mature can lead to challenges creating intractable patterns and damage to your relationships.  Very young children’s brains are growing at a remarkable rate, making healing and therapy much more impactful now than at a later age.  When you invest the time while your child is young you are building a strong foundation for their health.   You can also read more about financial options available to make therapy more affordable.

I am not comfortable with my baby or young child being diagnosed.

I am with you on that.  One of the reasons I am not paneled with health insurance companies is because of my concerns around diagnostic labels being used with young children.  They are often labels that describe a collection of symptoms but rarely point to a root cause and a set of consistent strategies for relief and healing.  And for anyone who has experienced early adversity, current diagnoses often fail to acknowledge the origin of their struggles and behaviors.  So while I am trained to assess and diagnose children and adults, I do not use traditional diagnoses in my practice unless you request it.

You can help your child thrive!

If you are ready and committed to doing the work to uncover the true meaning of your child’s behavior, their unique needs and to become your child’s best advocate, I would love to talk with you further to see if we are a good match!

If you would like to work with me individually to learn and grow as a parent first, I am available for Parent Coaching or Adult Psychotherapy. You can read more HERE.  

Click the button below to visit my Contact page where you can request a FREE 30 minute discovery session.

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