I came to parenting later than most, first through marriage and then adoption. And even with all of my education and years supporting other parents and families I wasn't prepared for how my world would be turned upside down by this new experience including my health, my relationships and my self-confidence. So, in addition to lots of professional experience and education, I now have my own catalog of observations, challenges, mistakes, and lessons learned. Eventually I began to find my footing and my community. I also started a healing journey to reclaim and reshape my health, how I took care of myself and those I love most.
It also deepened my resolve to approach my work with a holistic lens and, among other things, led me to study holistic nutrition through the Institute for Integrative Nutrition for a year.
Among the many lessons I learned (or relearned) as a new parent were:
This is a soul stretching journey for which we need layers of support! And yet we live in a culture that often leaves new parents, whether by birth or adoption, isolated.
Babies are a-w-e-some and are often our best teachers. They are exquisitely aware, conscious and present from the beginning in ways we can't perceive until we are intimately involved in their care and we have the luxury of s-l-o-w-i-n-g down. (Babies kind of demand it, if we are understanding their language.)
Our early experiences and first relationships from childhood are the foundation for our ability to navigate our most important relationships as adults and oftentimes healing is needed, again and again.
We need nourishing food, some uninterrupted sleep, time with our partner and time alone in order to meet our baby or child(ren)'s needs for connection, comfort and nourishment.
Our physical health and mental well-being are intricately tied, as they are for our children.
All behavior has meaning. Theirs and ours.
Gentleness is called for.
Waiting and watching creates space for them to develop strength, persistence, confidence and agency. It also gives us space to see our little ones more clearly.
So, whether you are just considering parenthood, are newly embarking on this intense and beautiful journey, or are at a fork in the path and looking for support to find your own inner compass (again), I am here for you.
Click to read more about my approach to Parent Coaching
Jeri Lea Kroll is a psychotherapist and parent coach specializing in early childhood, parenting, trauma, attachment across the lifespan and adoption using a lens informed by attachment theory and the relational neurosciences. She is also an adopted person and adoptive parent. She provides therapy and coaching to individuals, parents and families virtually from her office in Michigan. Jeri Lea offers a free 30 minute discovery session to those considering coaching or therapy. You can request a discovery session HERE.
"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. "
Bagwhan Shree Rajneesh
Photo by JW Photography