Finding Light in the Dark Days of Winter

The news has been filled with predictions of this coming winter being the darkest any of us has ever experienced. That news can feel unbearable after three seasons of a pandemic and all of its related consequences.

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And for those of us parenting young children it can add to the weight we are feeling around the approach of holidays and a season which is often a mix of wonder and darkness. This year it feels like a swirl of anxiety and dread is heaped on top of the high expectations our children are holding for the coming weeks. And maybe their expectations are extra big this year too…

So what is the best way to bring light to the darkest days of the year, during an especially dark year? Connection, play and fun!

Dr. Stuart Brown, defines PLAY as: “an absorbing, apparently purposeless activity that provides enjoyment and a suspension of self-consciousness and sense of time.”

Brene Brown recently shared on her Unlocking Us podcast how time spent playing can generate new energy. She went on to share how her family had revolutionized their free time by focusing on play. Each family member listed out what they thought of as play using Dr. Brown’s definition as a guide. They then identified the activities they all had in common and centered their free time and vacations around only those things.

Children feel safe, seen and loved when we play with them. Having a strong, supportive family buffers them from stress and adversity, or which we have plenty. And playful connection refuels us all to better handle whatever is coming next!

And because it is a season of anticipation, holidays and rituals, all of which are being interrupted by a pandemic, it is a great time to create a family challenge or new routine. You can count down the days until the new year, begin on the winter solstice or maybe set a connection and play goal for 2021!

Here is our “play list”:

  1. Watch a winter or holiday movie

  2. Bake cookies

  3. Make a gingerbread house

  4. Hug

  5. Butterfly kisses

  6. Go on a family hike/try geocaching

  7. Play the “Blow me over” game

  8. Airplane game or airplane pose

  9. Build a story game

  10. Decorate the tree

  11. EAT the cookies!

  12. Draw together

  13. Play a game

  14. Read a special book

  15. Play Jenga

  16. Freeze dance game

  17. Do yoga together

  18. Snuggle

  19. Build a snowman

  20. Learn to ice skate

  21. Sleep in/read in bed in the morning

  22. Go on a hike and feed the chickadees

  23. Deliver cookies to neighbors and friends

  24. Make a winter playlist of favorite songs

  25. Wrap presents together

  26. Make a fort inside

  27. ………

What would your family’s list include?

Here are some more ideas for adding connection, play and fun to your short days and long nights.

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  • Listen together

    If stories and crafts are more your jam (mine too!) then you might want to acquaint yourself with Sparkle Stories and their collection of holiday activities, stories and crafts.

  • Read together

    More books? Here Wee Read created a fun and inclusive reading challenge called the Mocha Express.

Click here to learn more about my approach to Family Therapy.


Jeri Lea Kroll is a psychotherapist and parent coach specializing in early childhood, parenting, trauma, attachment across the lifespan and adoption using a lens informed by attachment theory and the relational neurosciences. She is also an adopted person and adoptive parent. She provides therapy and coaching to individuals, parents and families virtually from her office in Michigan. Jeri Lea offers a free 30 minute discovery session to those considering coaching or therapy. You can request a discovery session HERE.